Cynical Discourse - The Weekly Humour Site
 
So it's finally happened, my Xbox 360 has died. It happened fortunately the day after I finished Dragon Age 2. Well I say fortunately, it would have done me a favor dieing before I even opened the game's box.

Anyway, after 4 years of service- my 360 finally died with an E71 error. I decided now would be a good excuse to justify purchasing a PS3, given there's an ungodly amount of exclusive titles and the sheer nostalgia ride of playing all my old Playstation One games on it. What surprises me, is how expensive the machine is; it must rank near on Macbook Pro/Intel Q6600 processor level of retaining value despite being years old.


I personally don't trust second hand consoles due to the amount of people I know who take in barely functioning machines in hope the clerk won't intensively test the machine enough to encounter any intermittent issues. The most annoying thing is every time that's happened, they've gotten away with it. I assume this is why they seed the losses onto game trade-ins, in which they profit higher than pharmacy companies, often with pre owned games costing around or the same as a brand new copy of the game does; at least the brand new games don't have snapped boxes with CD scratches so deep, a blind person would think it's braille.

So anyway, after shopping around I managed to order a moderately priced 320GB one in hope of storing all my games on there keeping the machine cool. What I didn't know was only a handful of games have this option and so far I haven't seen the option to install a game, it appears to just do it on it's own accord; well that was a great investment.

Now lets check the Playstation One store...Spyro? No. Tombi? No. Ridge Racer? No. Silent Hill? No. Kingsley's Adventure!? No. Pandemonium!!!? No. WTF is going on!? They've got shit games like Cool boarders, but nothing like Roadrash, Deathtrap dungeon or Croc? What is seriously wrong with this world.

Apparently so long as you have the original PS1 game disk it should work fine. However, when I looked into it there's quite a lot of people saying most PS1 games on the PS3 suffer from glitches. Again, what a great investment.

Still, the idea that all the controllers are wireless but charged via USB is cool...

And so after all that, I've bought a PS1, Battle Arena Tohshinden, here I come.
 
London Calling 08/15/2011
 
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So last week there was riots in England. A few people died, many were arrested and many more cleared JD Sports. So what have we as a country learned from this entire experience?
 
 
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This week as promised, the Alan Wake review is up. You can find it in the merged Essays/Reviews section.

Nothing much has really happened this week. I was sent Homefront which I don't think even deserves the brief 122 words I'm going to describe it in here:

 
 
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This week I decided to give Linux a go. I decided to choose Ubuntu despite my friend who insisted Debian was the best. God my life is so dull at the moment, let's write about something more exciting.
 
I'm baaack. 11/13/2010
 
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Well, it seems my ISP is ran by Valve because that was the longest "2-3 weeks" of my life. But don't panic all you readers that are still here! I have some interesting articles of information I shall highlight below.
 
 
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A review of a game which raped the series.

Click here to read
 
Great Inventions 08/29/2010
 
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This week I'll write about something that has always bothered me about the BBC2 series "Dragons Den". If you are a yank, I'm sure you've got an equivalent but to explain it to the general masses: A person goes to pitch their idea for an invention or gadget in front of four multi-millionaire business men/women. If their idea is good enough, they'll get their asking sum of money to buy a stake in the business. Sounds simple, but let us look at great inventions of the past, which would have never been invested in with what the person would probably outline in their pitch.

 
 
So here I was, happily enjoying Fresh Prince of Bel Air on my television when an advert for this came up:
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Even on the advert it was pronounced RETARD-Ex

Who would honestly want to brush their teeth with something called retarDEX?! It's like the person who made it up dropped it into a office meeting as a joke and the boss replied back "This is an amazing name!" All while the yesmen just nod sheepishly while dieing a little inside.
 
Nostalgia 08/11/2010
 
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While I was designing First Fantasy I took some time to play some old-school RPG's to give me a rounded idea of how it should play. Doing this only made me nostalgic with games from my childhood. Because everyone does SNES/NES lists, here is a short-list/micro review of my most favourite PS1 games from a time when Cynical Discourse was closer to Happy Chit-Chat and the internet composed of nothing more than Doom levels and Geocites.
 
 
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This week I've discovered a goldmine. No, not one where I can use monkeys to harvest precious stones out of- But a comedy goldmine. One where people go for everything from relationship advice to anniversary gifts, this is Yahoo Answers.