It all begun when I tried to broaden my writing horizons and downloaded a huge font pack from a website which name sounds like: The Pilot Bray. I quickly installed the fonts, not realising what the sick sadistic bastard who made the torrent knew- Windows can only handle around 1000 fonts before it starts slowing down- I know, who'd have thought Fonts played a major part in your systems speed? Well, I sure didn't.
Now don't get me wrong, I have a quite powerful system (Intel Q6600 OC'd to 3.2ghz, 6gb DDR2, ATI 4850 Clocked to the max and a 500gb WD Harddrive. But, even with this monster of a machine, the Fonts still brought my system to its knees.
Eager to test my new fonts I loaded Photoshop CS5 up, crashed as soon as it got past the watermark/loading screen. Loaded Paint, tried the text option, crashed. Microsoft Word 2007, Crashed. It was about then when I realised actions have consequences, and I might not be-able to rectify this one.
I opened the font folder from within the control panel, It stayed at 0 fonts for what I recall about 2 hours without any sign of loading so I closed it down, hit the restore default fonts button and hoped for the best.
It still didn't work. Foolishly concluding it required a reboot I restarted my machine, now Windows 7 doesn't even load; It hung just after the Windows logo, great. Fortunately, remembering Windows 7 has a startup recovery and hoping it could roll back the clock I restarted again.
Thankfully I always have dual booted with XP for software compatibility since the days of Win7 Beta (64-bit Windows 7/32-Bit Windows XP Pro) So I opened that and backed up all my important docs such as game files (More about this next week), Other pieces of writing and various other files for the worst case scenario. I power-cycled it. The machinary began to spring to life once again as it presented me with the options: Windows 7 or XP.
I chose Windows 7 and went into the start-up recovery: Twenty minutes I waited before it finally said there was nothing it could do and I should return this to where I bought it. Well, I BUILT it so that was a lot of fucking help, Who programs the ability to let you install as many fonts as you please but isn't prepared if it makes your system slow down tremendously and you want to delete all of them? Whose fucking idea was this?!
Anyway I decided to let it do its thing and let it hang for however long it takes until my Windows-7 loads. It got to about 40 minutes before it finally said 'WELCOME' and I let out a slight relief, it still works. But then again it's like if one of your elderly relatives gets dementia, I mean yeah they still work but they just aren't the same, and are much slower than before.
Trying the fonts folder once more it still returned the same result- 0 Fonts, fuck.
This program managed to load all my fonts for me and let me 'De-frenzy' my font folder, leaving me only with the bear essential fonts that my system actually requires- It managed to shave down 62,000 fonts before finally crashing and refusing to De-frenzy anymore leaving about 500 fonts left.
Fortunately, this was enough to allow me to see the inside of my Font Folder, it was beginning to feel like an executive club which was invite only, but now I could waltz in and manually delete the fonts I didn't need.
But now, I despise that Font destroying renegede, by not playing by the rules, he also decided to take my computer with me and shut it down when I installed a font from there to use as a print screen, the problem? Well, I only lost THIS ENTIRE FUCKING ARTICLE! and because weebly is so fantastic, it doesn't auto-save, leaving me to re-write this motherfucker, something I didn't really want to do all over again.
In conclusion for this week: Stay smart, don't install over 1000 fonts and don't use Font Frenzy, the fucking bastard.