This week I'll write about something that has always bothered me about the BBC2 series "Dragons Den". If you are a yank, I'm sure you've got an equivalent but to explain it to the general masses: A person goes to pitch their idea for an invention or gadget in front of four multi-millionaire business men/women. If their idea is good enough, they'll get their asking sum of money to buy a stake in the business. Sounds simple, but let us look at great inventions of the past, which would have never been invested in with what the person would probably outline in their pitch.
Toaster - This invention burns bread slightly, improving the taste. This will soon be the most eaten food at breakfast time in the entire world. Yeah right.
Toothbrush - This invention is essentially a small scrubbing brush, which you rub onto your teeth in a horizontal motion. The user has to do it for 2 minutes twice a day, helping keep their mouth clean and free from microscopic organisms you cannot see. This will be used in every household within a decade. Get the fuck out.
Goldfish Castles - This is an accessory that is placed in a goldfish bowl, which provides nothing besides looking nice. What the hell do castles have to do with Goldfish!?
Cheese - We leave milk to go sour and when it does, we add the lining from a young Calf's stomach and let it set. It smells and tastes awful but most people will eat it regularly. Sometimes mould forms on it, but don't worry! It adds to the flavour, honest! What have you been smoking?
Wrist Watch - Ever thought reaching into your pocket was too much hassle or worried your child will lose your grandfathers Pocket watch? Well don't worry anymore now we have wristwatches! What we do is chain it to your wrist and let you take it on or off when you want, saving valuable time by only having to look at your arm rather than getting out an attached watch and looking at it that way. Who would want to chain their watch to their wrist?
Erasers - Ever made a mistake in pencil and wanted to get rid of it? Well this does pretty much that; except it normally creases the page and leaves faint pencil marks. However, this problem can be fixed by merely just drawing lighter, to the extent of no-one being able to see it.
In conclusion, if Dragons Den dictated what actually went on the market, we'd have got no-where in life.
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